Official Minnesota Temperature Conversion Chart

60 above

• New Jerseyites try to turn on the heat.
• People in Minnesota plant gardens.

50 above

• Californians shiver uncontrollably.
• People in Minnesota sunbathe.

40 above

• Italian & English cars won't start.
• People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.

32 above

• Distilled water freezes.
• Lake Superior's water gets thicker.

20 above

• Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
• People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt

15 above

• Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
• People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0

• People in Miami all die...
• Minnesotans lick the flagpole.

20 below

• Californians fly away to Mexico.
• People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

40 below

• Hollywood disintegrates.
• The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

60 below

• Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
• Minnesota Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

80 below

• Mt. St. Helens freezes.
• People in Minnesota rent some videos.

100 below

• Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
• Minnesotans get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

297 below

• Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
• Cows in Minnesota complain about farmers with cold hands.

460 below

• All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
• People in Minnesota start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below

• Hell freezes over.
• The Vikings win the Super Bowl!