Bungee Jumping

The two inventors of the bungee rope went to Mexico to test their invention. They built a 50-foot tower and, once completed, one of the guys stood on the edge of the platform and dove into the air with the rope tied to his feet. The other guy, standing up on the platform, waited until his friend returned up so that he could grab him. The first time his friend sprung up, he tried to grab him but missed and noticed that his head was swollen. The next time, he missed again and again there was a bruise on his head and face. This time, with much concern, he dove forward to get his partner, pulled him in and asked, "What happened? Is the cord too long?" His partner replied with his face all bloody, "What is piņata?" 

Border Patrol

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says, "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."

The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"

The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself--I'm going to make it hard for him--and says, "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three English words in a sentence."

The Mexican man of course agrees.

The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The three words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in one sentence."

The Mexican man thinks really hard for about two minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green--I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?"