Gone Swimming

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After he ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and  the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in my congregation, it's my face they would recognize."

Blonde Swimming

There are three people. They are stranded on an island.

They want to get away by swimming to the mainland.

The first person tries but can only swim 1/4 the distance and then drowns.

The second person tries, but gets only 1/2 the way, tires and drowns.

The third person, a blonde, gets 1/2 way and then gets tired, so she goes back.

Swimming Pond

An old farmer had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, basketball court, etc.

The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond naked.

"I only came to feed the alligator."

Moral: Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill every time.

Late Night Skinny Dipping

This fellow has owned a home on a large oceanfront property in Maui for several years. He built a nice beach set up with picnic tables, horse shoe courts and a beach volleyball court. The beach was perfect for swimming. One evening on his way down to his beach, as he neared the water, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.

As he got closer, by the full moon light, he saw group of young women skinny dipping. He whistled to make the women aware of his presence and they all went out to deeper water. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man replied, "That's OK, I didn't come down here to watch you ladies skinny dipping, I just came to feed my sharks!"