Tough Teacher

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

Dress Code

A guy goes into a classy bar. This bar has a dress code, and the maitre d' demands he wear a tie. Discouraged, the guy goes to his car to sulk when inspiration strikes: He's got jumper cables in the trunk! So he wraps them around his neck, sort of like a string tie and returns to the bar.

The maitre d' is reluctant, but says to the guy; "Okay, you can come in, but just don't start anything!"

In Need Of Water

A sheik was walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walked towards the image, only to find a little man sitting at a table with a bunch of neckties laid out. The sheik asked, “Please, I’m dying of thirst, can I have some water?”

The man replied, “I don’t have any water, but why don’t you buy a tie? Here’s one that goes nicely with your robe”.

The sheik shouted, “I don’t want a tie, you idiot, I need water!” “OK, don’t buy a tie, but to show you what a nice guy I am, I’ll tell you that over that hill there, about 2 miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way. They’ll give you all the water you want.”

The sheik thanked him and walked away towards the hill and eventually disappeared. Three hours later the sheik came crawling back to where the man was sitting behind his table.

The little man said, “I told you, about 2 miles over that hill. Couldn’t you find it?”

The sheik rasped, “I found it all right. Your brother wouldn’t let me in without a tie.”