Lawyer's Dog

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbour of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, "Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?"

The lawyer replied, "Of course, how much was the roast?"

"$7.98."

A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.

The Meat

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more..."

"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."

The Amazing Dog

A large dog walks into a butcher shop, carrying a purse in its mouth. He puts the purse down and sits in front of the meat case.

"What is it, boy?" the butcher jokingly asks. "Want to buy some meat?"

"Woof!" barks the dog.

"Hmmm," says the butcher. "What kind? Liver, bacon, steak..."

"Woof!" interrupts the dog.

"And how much steak? Half a pound, one pound..."

"Woof!" signals the dog.

The amazed butcher wraps up the meat and finds the money in the dog's purse. As the dog leaves, the butcher decides to follow. The dog enters an apartment house, climbs to the third floor, and begins scratching at a door. With that, the door swings open and an angry man starts shouting at the dog.

"Stop!" yells the butcher. "He's the most intelligent animal I've ever seen!"

"Intelligent?" counters the man. "This is the third time this week he's forgotten his key!"