The Flag Pole

Ray and Bob, two government maintenance guys, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole,” said Bob, “But we don’t have a ladder.”

The woman said, “Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.”

She loosened a few bolts, and then laid the pole down.

She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, “Eighteen feet, six inches” and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed, “Well, ain’t that just like a ‘Miss-know-it-all woman’" he said,  “We need

the height and she gives us the length!”

Telegraph Poles

Back in the Old West, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job.

Three groups responded. A group of Chinese, a group of Irish, and a group of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the manager decided to assign each group to a different part of the line.

The first task was to stand the telegraph poles. The manager sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today would receive a bonus.

At the end of the day, the foreman of the Irish reported back to the manager. The manager inquired of him how many poles had been set by his group. He replied 48. The manager was very pleased. He advised the foreman to stay awhile until he heard how the Chinese and the Blondes did.

Next to report was the foreman of the Chinese group. When asked, he reported that they had set 53 poles that day. Again the manager was delighted. He dismissed the Irish foreman and asked the Chinese leader to remain until the Blondes checked in.

A little while later the Blonde forewoman reported to the manager. "How many poles did your group set?" He asked.

"Two." Replied the Blonde forewoman.

"Two!" Exclaimed the Manager. "The Irish set 48 poles, and the Chinese set 53. How could you Blondes have only set two poles?" He demanded.

"It may be true the Italians and Chinese buried more poles than us," replied the Blonde, "but you should see how much of the poles they left sticking out of the ground!"

Telephone Poles

There was a Midwestern phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers and the boss had to choose between a team of Polish guys and a team of Irish guys.

So the boss met with both teams and said, "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job." Both teams headed right out. At end of the shift, the Irish guys came back, and the boss asked them how many they had installed, and they said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.

Forty-five minutes later, the Polish guys came back in, and they were totally exhausted. The boss said, "Well, how many poles did you guys install? "The team leader wiped his brow and sighed, "We got three in."

The boss gasped, "Three? Those Irish guys put in twelve!"

"Yeah," said the Polish leader,"but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground."