The old Cherokee chief sat in his reservation hut, smoking the ceremonial pipe, eyeing the two US government officials sent to interview him.

"Chief Two Eagles," one official began, "you have observed the white man for many generations, you have seen his wars and his products, you have seen all his progress, and all his problems."

The chief nodded. The official continued, "Considering recent events, in your opinion, where has the white man gone wrong?"

The chief stared at the government officials for over a minute, and then calmly replied. "When white man found the land, Indians were running it.

• No taxes.
• No debt.
• Plenty buffalo
• Plenty beaver
• Women did the work
• Medicine man free
• Indian men hunted and fished all the time."

The chief smiled, and added quietly, "White man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

Chief At Daughter's Wedding

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain."

"Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back."

"But, officer, I just wanted to say..."

"And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

Navy Retirement

The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted, asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with $72,000.

The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.

The third was a grizzled old Chief Petty Officer who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him, provided the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em", which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's penis and began to work back.

"My God!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"

The old Chief calmly replied... "Vietnam"