Witness

A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court. He was approached by the defense attorney who asked, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court?"

"Yes Sir", answered the boy

"I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?"

"My father, sir," said the boy.

"And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly.

"He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but if I stuck to the truth, everything would be all right."

Legal Advice

Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant.

The judge ordered Taylor, "You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can."

After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone.

When the judge asked where the defendant had gone, Taylor replied, "You asked me to give him good advice. I found out that he was guilty, so I told him to split."

Parking Ticket

Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..."

The Ten Commandments

Despite how you may have personally felt about the issue, there was a good logical reason for removing the Ten Commandments monument from the Alabama Supreme Court building.

You cannot post things like "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery," and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment!

Day In Court

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.

When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.

"What for?" he snapped at the judge.

His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented: "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."

The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."