Talking Chicken

A chicken walks into a library and looks at the librarian.

"Bawk!" the chicken says.

"Do you want a book?" asks the librarian.

"Bawk," the chicken agrees. The librarian gives it a book and it walks out.

About half an hour later the chicken comes back. "Bawk bawk!" the chicken says.

"Do you want two books?" asks the librarian.

"Bawk bawk" the chicken agrees.

The librarian gives it two books and it walks out. Another half hour later the chicken comes back again.

"Baawwwwk, bawk bawk!" the chicken says.

"Do you want a long book and two short ones?" asks the librarian.

"Baawwwk, bawk bawk" the chicken agrees. The librarian gives it a long book and two short ones and it walks out. The librarian is getting pretty curious about this chicken, so she follows it this time. It takes the books to a pond where a frog is waiting.

"Readit, readit." said the frog.

Handsome Prince

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess lap and said, "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and shallot cream sauce.

One Free Wish

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish.

The man says "Please make my dog win the next dog race."

The frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man asks him for a different wish.

The man says "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest."

The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car.

The wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.

The frog turns to the man and says "Could I please have another look at the dog?"

Beautiful Bride

A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."

He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top was a frog.

The man said, "Are you talking to me?"

The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.

Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."