Math Help

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. 

He called her into his office and said, "Y’all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" 

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings.”

New Secretary

A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.

"Hey, what's up with you?" he asks.

"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."

"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"

"Neither, He's bald."