Pills

A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the big pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the little pink pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, doc, exactly what's my problem?"

Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."

Prescription Cost

The Cut-Rate pharmacist filled the prescription and handed the nearly deaf old man the bottle of pills saying, "That'll be $16.50."

Just then the drug store phone rang and the pharmacist answered.

As he did, the old man placed 50 cents on the counter and walked out of the store with his prescription.

The clerk realized the mistake and shouted, but the old man did not hear and kept walking.

When the pharmacist finished his call the clerk explained what had happened.

The pharmacist scooped up the 50 cents and put it in the cash register, saying to the clerk, "Oh well, 30 cents profit is better than nothing."

Can't Sleep

An exhausted looking man dragged himself in to the Doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the man answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."

A few weeks later the man returned, looking worse than ever. "Doc, your plan is no good. I'm more tired than before!"

"I don't understand how that could be", said the doctor, shaking his head. "Those are the strongest pills on the market!"

"That may be true," answered the man wearily, "but I'm still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it's hard getting him to swallow the pill!"

The Cut-Rate pharmacist filled the prescription and handed the nearly-deaf old man the bottle of pills saying, "That'll be $16.50."

Just then the drug store phone rang and the pharmacist answered.

As he did, the old man placed 50 cents on the counter and walked out of the store with his prescription.

The clerk realized the mistake and shouted, but the old man did not hear and kept walking.

When the pharmacist finished his call the clerk explained what had happened.

The pharmacist scooped up the 50 cents and put it in the cash register, saying to the clerk, "Oh well, 30 cents profit is better than nothing."

Trouble Waking Up

John had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

So John went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

John slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's good" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"