Wanting a Sister

A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."

Trying to be funny, the daddy says "Honey, you do have a sister. You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."

The little girl thought about this and remarked, "You mean  like my other Daddy does?"

Cost Of Fabric

A pretty girl asked the male clerk at a fabric counter, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Why, only one kiss per yard, " he replied with a smirk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards.

With anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her.

"Grandpa will pay the bill, "she smiled.

Saleslady

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing."

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.

"Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly.

"No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

"Well, what is it, then? What does she do?" his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, "She's a battery sales person."

"Batteries?" cried the wife.

"Yes," he replied.

"She sells C-cells by the sea shore."

An Appendectomy

Five-year-old Becky answered the door when the census taker came by. She told the census taker that her daddy was a doctor and wasn't home because he was performing an appendectomy.

"My," said the census taker, "that sure is a big word for such a little girl. Do you know what it means?"

"Sure do! Twenty seven hundred bucks, and that doesn't even include the anesthesiologist!"

What Kids Will Say

A young girl's folks had paid a visit to the home of a neighbor one evening. The neighbor thought naturally, when she answered the doorbell the next morning and found the little girl at the door, that her parents had forgotten something...

"Please, Mrs. Johnston," said the girl, "may I look at your living room rug?"

The woman was surprised but said, "Why, of course, Jennie. Come on in. It's right over here."

The little girl stared at the rug for several minutes. Then she turned to its owner and said unabashedly, "Well, It doesn't make me sick."

Making An Effort To Help...

Blonde haired Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.

Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"