Creations

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so man would live a long and healthy life.

But Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the double cheeseburger. And McDonald's said to man, "You want fries with that?" And man said "Supersize them" and man gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my fresh salad."

But Satan created ice cream. And man gained pounds.

And God said, I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them. "

But Satan created steak so big that it needs its own platter. And man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

But Satan created cable TV with remote control so man would not have to toil to change channels. So man watched others exercise and man gained pounds.

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

But Satan created deep fried potatoes called potato chips (crisps) and dips in which to plunge them. And man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in fat and cholesterol, it tasted good, but man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Chocolate Ice Cream

A man goes into an ice cream parlor and says, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."

The girl behind the counter says, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery truck broke down this morning. We're out of chocolate."

"In that case," the man says, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream."

"You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate."

"Then just give me some chocolate," he says.

Getting angrier by the second, the girl says, "Sir, will you spell 'VAN', as in vanilla?"

The man says, "V-A-N."

"Now spell 'STRAW', as in strawberry."

"OK. S-T-R-A-W."

"Now," the girl says, "spell STINK, as in chocolate."

The man hesitates. Then he says. "There is no stink in chocolate."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.