One In A Million

China has a population of over a billion people. One billion!

That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

The Lesson

"The Jewish people have observed their 5758th year as a people." the teacher informed his class. "Consider that the Chinese have observed only their 4695th. What does this mean to you?"

After a reflective pause, Little Johnny volunteered, "Well for one thing, the Jews had to do without Chinese food for 1063 years

Chicken Surprise

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise." The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

"Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck."

Chinese Laundry

This guy is walking through Chinatown. He is fascinated with all the Chinese Restaurants, the Chinese shops, the Chinese signs and banners on the buildings. He turns a corner and sees a building with a sign "Hans Olafsen's Laundry"

"Hans Olafsen?" he thinks. "How in the world does that fit in here?"

So, he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman sitting in the corner. The visitor asks, "How in the world did this place get a name like Hans Olafsen's Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The visitor asks, "Well, where's the owner?"

"I am he," answers the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olafsen?"

The old man replies, "Many years ago when I come to this country, I was standing in line at Documentation Center. Man in front of me was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go "What your name? He say Hans Olafsen. She look at me. What your name? I say Sam Ting."

Telegraph Poles

Back in the Old West, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job.

Three groups responded. A group of Chinese, a group of Irish, and a group of Blondes. Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the manager decided to assign each group to a different part of the line.

The first task was to stand the telegraph poles. The manager sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today would receive a bonus.

At the end of the day, the foreman of the Irish reported back to the manager. The manager inquired of him how many poles had been set by his group. He replied 48. The manager was very pleased. He advised the foreman to stay awhile until he heard how the Chinese and the Blondes did.

Next to report was the foreman of the Chinese group. When asked, he reported that they had set 53 poles that day. Again the manager was delighted. He dismissed the Irish foreman and asked the Chinese leader to remain until the Blondes checked in.

A little while later the Blonde forewoman reported to the manager. "How many poles did your group set?" He asked.

"Two." Replied the Blonde forewoman.

"Two!" Exclaimed the Manager. "The Irish set 48 poles, and the Chinese set 53. How could you Blondes have only set two poles?" He demanded.

"It may be true the Italians and Chinese buried more poles than us," replied the Blonde, "but you should see how much of the poles they left sticking out of the ground!"

The Wong Family

A Chinese couple named Wong had a new baby. The nurse brings to them a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy!

"Congratulations!" says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby?"

The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong".