Federal Office Worker

A federal office worker finds a lamp in an old file drawer and as he examines it a genie pops out. For his first of three traditional wishes, he wants to be on a beautiful deserted Island. 

Poof! There he is. 

Next, of course, he wants the gorgeous babes, and Poof! There they are. 

Finally, he realizes he must sustain this great life and wishes he would never have to work.

Poof! He's back at the office. 

The Ostrich

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.  As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.  The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"  and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.  "That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket  and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,  "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says,  "I'll have the same."  Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes a routine until late one evening, the two enter again.

"The usual?" asks the waitress.

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and salad," says the man, "same for me," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress comes with the order and says,  "That will be $12.62." Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

  

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.  My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "One other thing, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and answers,

"My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

One Free Wish

A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish.

The man says "Please make my dog win the next dog race."

The frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man asks him for a different wish.

The man says "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest."

The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car.

The wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.

The frog turns to the man and says "Could I please have another look at the dog?"

Christmas Wish

The department store Santa Claus was more than a surprised when a beautiful young lady about twenty years old walked up and sat on his lap.

But Santa quickly recovered and started talking to the college type lass.

"And what do you want for Christmas?" asked Santa.

"Something for my mother," said the young lady.

"Well, that's what I call thoughtful," smiled Santa. "What can I bring for your mother?"

After a moment's thought, the girl brightened, turned to Santa, and said, "I'd like for her to get a son-in-law."