Knock On The Door

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there's a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

Mail Delivery

A U.S. Postal Service mail carrier was making his rounds. He had a special-delivery package that had to be delivered in person, so he went up to the door. A woman answered, signed for the package, and took it.

The mail carrier spotted a snail on the ground near him. He stomped on the snail, yelling, "Die, snail, die! and ground the snail with his heel.

The woman asked, "Why did you just kill that snail?"

The mail carrier replied, "That sneaky snail has been following me around all day!"