Walking For Your Health

1. Walking 20 minutes can add hours to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $9,500 per month.
2. My grandfather started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he is.
3. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
4. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
5. I joined a health club last year, spent about 450 dollars. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to go there.
6. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise", I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
7. I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
8. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a very small country.
9. I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years, just getting over the hill.
10. Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a "Happy Hour" and by the time I leave, I think I look just fine.