Political Correctness For Kids

• Your bedroom isn't cluttered; it's "passage-restrictive."
• Kids don't get in trouble anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."
• You're not having a bad hair day; you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."
• No one's tall anymore. They're "vertically enhanced."
• You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."
• You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."
• It's not called gossip anymore. It's "transmission of near-factual information."
• The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."
• Your homework isn't missing; it's just having an "out-of-notebook experience."
• You're not sleeping in class; you're "rationing consciousness."
• You don't have smelly gym socks; you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."
• You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."
• You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.