Warning Signs That You Need A New Doctor

• The patient before you was a goat.
• Instead of anesthetic he has you watch PBS.
• He has an assistant named Igor.
• The local bar association named him "Client of the Year."
• Whenever he leaves the room his nurse makes duck noises.
• During surgery he has to keep repeating that "thigh bone connected to the knee bone" song.
• Mike Wallace and a film crew are hanging out in his waiting room.
• He asks you to turn your head and cough during an eye exam.
• You can beat him in a game of Operation.
• All his Medical books are from the Time-Life "Do-it-Yourself Series."
• He has an office sharing arrangement with a mortician.