Signs You've Bought A Bad Car

• Your tinted windows are also known as Hefty Garbage Bags.
• The car reaches its optimum speed when going downhill.
• The hi-tech stereo system often requires a new needle.
• The rear-view mirror says, "Objects in Mirror Are Better Than This Piece of Junk."
• The odometer on the dashboard is not as sophisticated as the everyday abacus.
• Traffic Watch warns other drivers what highway you're taking.
• The sticker on the windshield says, "Batteries Not Included."
• You fill up the tank with Unleaded Coal.
• You can only go to restaurants that offer Valet Pushing.
• When you approach hitchhikers, they put their thumbs down.