Back In My Day

• In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.
• Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.
• In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.
• In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
• Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
• In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.