Advertising Terms

This is a list of what all the advertising terms on products really mean...

• New: Different colour from previous design.
• All New: Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
• Exclusive: Imported product.
• Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
• Foolproof Operation: No provision for adjustments.
• Advanced Design: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
• It's Here at Last: Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
• Field Tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
• High Accuracy: Unit on which all parts fit.
• Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
• Redesigned: Previous flaws fixed - we hope.
• Direct Sales Only: Factory had a big argument with distributor.
• Years of Development: We finally got one to work.
• Breakthrough: We finally figured out a use for it.
• Maintenance Free: Impossible to fix.
• Meets All Standards: Ours, not yours.
• Solid State: Heavy as hell.
• Less Fattening: Now doesn't have the same fat content as pig stomach lining.
• High Reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.
• Non Refundable: We couldn't make it work long enough to ship it.
• Fat Free: You pay for the food, but the fat is free.