Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Women

1. Pumpkins are easy to pick up.
2. You can fondle a Pumpkin in a supermarket, and you know how firm it is before you take it home.
3. A pumpkin won't ask: "Am I the first?"
4. Pumpkins don't leave you wondering for a month.
5. Pumpkins never answer your phone or borrow your car.
6. A pumpkin won't go through your medicine chest.
7. A pumpkin doesn't use your toothbrush.
8. You can have as many pumpkins as you can handle.
9. A pumpkin never wants to improve your mind.
10. Pumpkins aren't into meaningful conversations.
11. A Pumpkin will never make a scene because there are other pumpkins in the refrigerator.
12. No matter how old you are, you can always get a fresh pumpkin.
13. You always know where a pumpkin has been.
14. Pumpkins never want to take you home to mom.
15. A pumpkin won't tell you she's outgrown you intellectually.
16. Pumpkins never expect you to have little pumpkins.
17. It's easy to drop a pumpkin.