Don't Step On The Duck

Three friends died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they are all admitted. He cautions them, though, that there is only one rule: Don't step on the ducks.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks "The ducks?"

"Yes," St. Peter replies, "there are millions of ducks up here walking around and, if one gets stepped on, he squawks. Then the one next to him squawks and soon they're all raising hell and it really breaks the tranquility. If you step on the ducks, you'll be punished, otherwise everything is yours to enjoy."

After entering, the men noted that there was indeed a gaggle of ducks everywhere. Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys stepped on one of them. The duck squawked, the one next to it squawked and soon there was a deafening roar of duck quacks.

St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asked "Who stepped on the duck?" The one who had done it admitted "I did."

Immediately, St. Peter pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man's right hand to the homely woman's' left hand. "I told you not to step on the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity.

The other two men were very cautious not to step on any ducks, but a couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as deafening as before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman than before. St. Peter determined which one had stepped on a duck by the fear in his face, and cuffed the mans' right hand to the homely woman's' left hand. "I told you not to step on the ducks," he said. "Now you'll be handcuffed together for eternity."

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even move for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he still hadn't stepped on a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months and had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man and then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for eternity, let out a sigh and said "What have I done to deserve this?"

The woman responded "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."