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Saturday, August 28, 2010

Needs A Push

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 AM by a loud pounding on their front door. The man struggles out of bed and goes to the door, opens it, and finds an obviously drunken stranger standing in the pouring rain.


Almost snarling because of the inconvenience, the guy says to the drunk,


"Yeah, what do you want?"


"Would you give me a push?" the drunk slurs.


"Are you crazy? Not a chance," the husband answers. "It's three o'clock in the morning!" and slams the door and returns to bed.


"Who was it?" asked the wife, not helping the situation in the least.


"Some drunk asking for a push," he mumbles.


"Did you help him?" the wife asks.


Now teetering on the edge of exploding, he says, "No! I didn't help him. It's three in the morning and raining like heck outside."


"Well, you've got a very short memory," says his wife. "Don't you remember when we were on the way to a party and those two guys helped us? I think you should help this poor man!"


Now wide awake and knowing he'll be unable to go back to sleep, the husband mumbles under his breath, gets dressed, and stands on the front steps in the driving rain.


"Hey, are you still out there?"


"Yeah," comes the answer.


"Do you still want a push?" asks the husband.


"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.


Unable to see anything or anyone in the dark, the husband says, "Where are you?"


The drunk replies, "Over here. On the swing".


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