Don't Take Life Too Seriously

• Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
• A day without sunshine is like... Night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• 43.6 % of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99 % of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• Remember, 1/2 the people you know are below average.
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.
• Ok, so what's the speed of dark?
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
• Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
• How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
• I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
• Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
• Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of Jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.