"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asks.
"Well, I can think of one thing..." the man offers. "Once I came upon a gang of tough bikers who were threatening a young woman. I told them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I went up to the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked over his Harley, ripped out his nose right and told him 'Leave her alone or your'll answer to me.'"
St. Peter was impressed. "When did this happen?"
"Oh, about two minutes ago..."
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